Perspective

Nearly eight years ago a close family member and I began regular journeys - at least every three weeks - to the healing center of the Midwest. Our efforts are necessary to maintain the upper hand over that nasty word “cancer.” Today was our 39th visit for this regimen - not our 39th total, but 39th for this treatment effort. During today’s early morning hours - when I could not sleep - I pondered 39 treatments and tried to put them into perspective.

When I calculate just the tri-weekly appointments for this regimen, we have driven around 7,500 miles between home and the treatments. To put that into perspective, we could have driven from our home to Anchorage, Alaska and back and started a second trip to Alaska.

When I calculate the time spent in the car - not the appointments - just in the car driving to appointments, we have shared nearly five weeks together driving. To put that into perspective, that has been nearly five weeks of conversation, questions, discussions, and sometimes silence as we moved back and forth.

When I calculate our time spent moving around the campus for blood-lettings, MD visits, and actual infusions in this regimen, we have invested nearly eight weeks of our lives into this process. To put that into perspective, we have walked from one appointment to another in the building nearly half of an NFL football season.

When we roughly calculate the needle sticks (usually takes up to five or six due to very poor veins), the number of pokes is 156, give or take some. To put that in perspective, there are few usable veins in the hands. As of today, the arm has become the target of choice while trying to save the antecubital for blood tests.

When I calculate the cost per treatment into what I could do with those funds every three weeks, I could buy five Kevlar canoes, paddles, and PFDs with change left over for gas to drive to the river. To put that into perspective, I could convert the fees into $18,000-$19,000 dollars every three weeks. Thank goodness for insurance!

When I calculate the total invested so far for treatments into cash (just for these 39-doses), I come up with not quite $725,000. To put that into perspective, when we factor in the other trips we are well over $1,000,00.

When thinking about the past eight years, especially this latest 39-dose process, the tangible investment is recordable. Now we need to consider a different perspective. If we did nothing, if we did not challenge cancer, if we did not invest the time, the miles, the weeks, the dollars… what would we have? The answer is not zero. The end result would be an unmeasurable negative number. Calculating the cost of loss is not possible as the zeros would continue to add up.

As I type this waiting for infusion number 39 to begin, I am ready to support for another 39 (or more). Maybe, just maybe, we will hear an update that erases the “...there is no cure” to “we have something new to try.” To put that into perspective, we continue to face the challenge with the best available. We will increase our resistance when possible. Cancer has not won this battle. Good job! Continue the Fight!

To put this entire situation into perspective, today we were thankful we were the senior folks undergoing this treatment and not the very young couple obviously being challenged with the cards they were dealt. We have a few hours of inconvenience… they face far more serious concerns. We are sad for them, we pray for them. May health return or may dignity prevail. We had our “perspective check” today and it was sad. “God Slaps” are necessary sometimes, but painful (or sad).

This picture shows the precious soup that, at the right dose, continues to keep cancer at bay. This is a half-dose since a full dose was nearly toxic. To put that into perspective, toxins are infused to save a life. Think about that. Thank you science!